Hi, guys. How are you doing?

I'm writing this while I'm contemplating whether I should stay up or get a quick nap first as I wait for the Champions League match between Manchester City and FC Barcelona. Yes, I still watch football, occasionally. I seemed to always overslept while waiting for the kick-off though xD And yes, I still love Messi to the core.

Anyways, 

I'm very sorry for the lack of updates, what with me saying I'm giving this blog a new lease of life and doing the exact opposite sigh. I really wanted to but I'm getting caught up with life as of late. I have a quick DIY tutorial I wanted to post, but due to some circumstances I can never find the right time to take photographs for it. By the time I reached home, it'll already be dark or I'm just too tired to do anything.

I'll try to squeeze some time to write more.

Have a great day!

xKiwa

P/s: My DIY Cardboard Scratch Pad got featured by Cheap Eats & Thrifty Crafts! Teehee thanks!

A little while ago my mum gave me a set of 'Malaysia Truly Asia' postcards that she got from the tourist center. I love postcards so naturally I accepted them with glee. Instead of letting the postcards lay around untouched like the rest of my hoarded supplies, I decided to actually send some of them out.

I still have a few from the set (plus assorted few in my supplies stash) left so if you'd love to exchange postcards with me, send your details to my e-mail: syakirahashimx@gmail.com. Don't worry, I'll keep your information confidential, of course! 

x Kiwa

We're already a week into 2015, how crazily fast has the time fly by? I hope it's not too late to wish everyone a happy new year though *pops confetti*. Now, now, I won't be sharing my new year resolutions here (maybe not just yet) but haayy, I've made a new layout for my blog! *pops even more confetti* 

When I announced my blog clean-up before, I thought about giving my blog just a simple, fresh new look. I remember saying to myself: "Hmm I'll just tweak a few bits here and there, recode some simple stuff and voila, a new look!". But boy, it was anything but that. You see, my past layouts were always built (customized) from the old Blogger Minima template as it was the one I am most familiar and comfortable working with. But it seemed that I won't have the access to the layout editor in my dashboard if I revert my template back to classic (!). And trying to arrange the widgets and page elements manually (!!) would just burst my brain out.

So I looked at my closest option: the Blogger Simple template. Coding everything was harder than expected because a. I have seemed to forget all my coding knowledge, b. A few codes/tutorials are outdated/weren't working because I dunno why and c. Reading lines and lines of codes made me dizzy. Despite everything, I somehow managed to put together a new layout *cries*. It is far from perfect and there are tons of things that I'll re-do (the hideous header, and the allover-the-place navigation bar, just to name a few) but regardless, I'm happy with the way it looks.

I updated the blog content too. I got rid of the Mixtape Saturday series, deleted a handful of posts and I finally have an about page. There is still so much left for me to do but for now, I need to sleep.

x Kiwa

/source

Update: So many youtube videos I posted here have been removed by the uploader. I'll sort through all of that too I guess.

I suddenly had the urge to start blogging again. I guess I kinda miss writing random nothings to my inexistent audience. I kinda miss editing photos to upload here; my (sort of) visual diary. I kinda miss going to youtube and look for songs that fit my situations, my feelings and post them on Saturdays. I kinda miss bloghopping too. When I stopped blogging, I ceased on visiting the blogs that I dearly loved. For sure I have a lot to catch up on now.

Anyways, the point of this post is just as per title; I'm cleaning up my blog. I'm getting rid of the silly let-me-pour-my heart-onto-this-post kinda posts (which are abundant lol) and maybe deleting images that I feel are no longer needed to be showcased to anyone but me. Ha.

And maybe I'll come around with a new layout too. Wow.

Till then, stay fresh.

Kiwa.

/via tumblr

Just a little something I read recently. Loved it, so I thought I might as well share it with you lots.

The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

****

I know, this blog is practically dead. My last post was in November and it was not a proper post, even. A lot has been going on with my life, the biggest being when I lost my sweetheart, Tigger. Right now I'm quite preoccupied with school, with me being a final semester student and all. Gosh, I'm almost at the end of my degree, guys! It feels surreal.

Maybe I'll come around to update this blog with outdated updates. Maybe.

Till then, take care people. Hugsies.

Kiwa.

Everyone loves me for my past, but they always hate me in the present.

Why can't you just meet me somewhere in the middle?

***

So I'm gonna rant a little.

Finally. Finally ADTR releases their new album, Common Courtesy. At first I thought they were gonna release it last year, when they did that countdown. It turned out it was for the release of their single Violence (Enough is Enough) instead. I was a bit disappointed but listening to Violence made me more excited to wait for the full album. Didn't know it'd take me almost 10 months of waiting though.

Now, now, I claim myself to be a big fan of ADTR but I'm not really the kind that keeps myself up-to-date with the band's latest news. In fact, I don't do that with my other favourite bands too. I'm the type that don't bother much about the artists but more on their songs. I'm sorry. With that said, I didn't know that ADTR had some issues with their label, hence delaying the progress of their album. My bad. *slowly rips off 'I AM ADTR'S BIGGEST FAN' sticker from my forehead*

But alas, they won the rights to self-publish their album and here we have this gem, finally. Words can't even describe how I felt when I first heard all the songs. My emotions were overloading. I can't say this is their best album to date since I love all of them equally but heck, this is one hell of an album. I love how Common Courtesy reminded me of For Those Who Have Heart, the first ADTR album I listened to back in high school. Jeremy's voice has grown a lot, I have to add.

I knew for this week's Mixtape Saturday I have to post one of the songs in this album, but choosing one is near impossible since all of the songs has its own charm. I Remember, the last track of this album fits perfectly. I love how Jeremy reminisces the old memories of sleeping in a van, playing in an empty room and all. It felt personal and we as fans feel so much closer to the band. Oh how much has this band grow.

I don't really consider myself a hardcore Disney fan, but this is a silly goal/project I made for myself: to watch all animated films produced by The Walt Disney Studios. I've watched many since I was a child, but I don't think I understood the movies quite as much. Time to relive some of my childhood memories, yes? Here is the list that I got from Wikipedia (in chronological order, woot woot):

List is up-to-date as of 7^th January 2015
* denotes that I've watched (or rewatched) the movie
+ denotes that I've written a review on the movie (click the title)

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Pinocchio

Fantasia

Dumbo

Bambi

Saludos Amigos

The Three Caballeros

Make Mine Music

Fun and Fancy Free

Melody Time

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

Cinderella

Alice in Wonderland

Peter Pan

Lady and the Tramp

Sleeping Beauty

One Hundred and One Dalmatians

The Sword in the Stone

The Jungle Book

The Aristocats

Robin Hood

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

The Rescuers

The Fox and the Hound

The Black Cauldron

The Great Mouse Detective

The Brave Little Toaster

Oliver & Company

The Little Mermaid

DuckTales the Movie

The Rescuers Down Under

* Beauty and the Beast

Aladdin

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Lion King

A Goofy Movie

Pocahontas

* Toy Story

James and the Giant Peach

* The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Hercules

The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars

Kiki's Delivery Service

* Mulan

A Bug's Life

The Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue

Doug's 1st Movie

Tarzan

Princess Mononoke

* Toy Story 2

Fantasia 2000

The Tigger Movie

Dinosaur

The Emperor's New Groove

Recess: School's Out

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Monsters, Inc.

Return to Never Land

Lilo & Stitch

Spirited Away

Treasure Planet

The Jungle Book 2

Piglet's Big Movie

The Cat Returns

Finding Nemo

Brother Bear

Teacher's Pet

Home on the Range

The Incredibles

Pooh's Heffalump

Howl's

Valiant

Chicken Little

Bambi II

The Wild April

Cars

Uma Aventura no Tempo

Meet the Robinsons

Ratatouille

WALL-E

Tinker Bell

Roadside Romeo

Bolt

Up

Ponyo

Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure

A Christmas Carol

The Princess and the Frog

* Toy Story 3

Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue

Tales from Earthsea

* Tangled

Gnomeo & Juliet

Mars Needs Moms

Cars 2

Winnie the Pooh

The Secret World of Arrietty

Arjun: The Warrior Prince

Brave

Frankenweenie

Tinker Bell and the Secret of the Wings

Wreck-It Ralph

From Up on Poppy Hill

Monsters University

Planes
Frozen
The Pirate Fairy
The Wind Rises
Planes: Fire & Rescue
* Big Hero 6

I'll update this list should any new movies come out. I'll probably write a short post on each of the films I watched. Probably. And I think by the time I finished watching all these, I'll be one old woman. 

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It's already Ramadhan.

One of the things that need to be done as Eid is approaching is to get our baju raya made. Since I am oddly sized, or rather, because I have arms that run for miles, I have to get my baju tailored because I'll never fit into ready-made bajus. It's the downside of living in a country where the average girls are fun-sized, sigh. That being said, I will have to go find all the kain (fabric) needed to make my baju and usually, this means that I will have to go to one fabric store to another.

Which I hate.

I always thought that the whole process is a hassle. Too many fabric stores, too many choices of fabrics. Not making it better when I usually went out to look for the kain when I'm fasting. I wish I could just fit into ready-made bajus. I wish people would start making bajus that would fit me nicely. I wish I have an average-sized body. I hate going to the tailor to get my measurements taken and all. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother looking for the kain, and why my mum would nag to me to go. 

I was walking around in the city with Jiah, looking for the kain for this year's Eid and feeling bitter like always because I'm tired and I can't find the kain that I liked enough that matches the theme of this year's Eid, and also getting fed up with walking around in a busy street because I hate crowded places when it hits me;

Why am I feeling as though all of this is a burden? There are millions out there that don't even have the privilege to buy new clothes in a whole year, let alone on Eid. Heck, some even don't have the privilege to celebrate Eid. So why am I complaining? 

Astaghfirullah.

I am lucky, I am blessed, but I was blind. I never took a moment to count my blessings and thank God for all that I have. I was ignorant, I was selfish. Arrogant, even. And for that, I am sorry.

I will appreciate more.

I will love more.

I will hate less.

I will complain less.

I will change to be a better me, insyaAllah.

Huda has these two beautiful angels. I'm in love with them, I wish I could grab them, put em in my bag and bring them home. But that's impossible because I have Smokee, an alpha male who refuses to come to term with any felines other than his 'sister', Tigger. They are old now so I just call them the Grumpy Grandpa and Grumpy Grandma. 

Come to think of it I always capture pictures of my very own furkids and post them here because they make me happy every time. I really should get my kit lens fixed asap, yes? I miss home, I miss my cats. I really can't wait for Friday, meeeeps.

p/s: Tagging my pictures of cats and cat-related posts with 'cats' because I aspire to be a crazy cat lady meowmeowmeow.

Kodomo

I've never been good with kids. I don't really hate them per se, I just don't know how to deal with them. I don't know how I should act around them. I mean do I have to baby talk and act all cutesy to them like I do with cats because I often see people do that but if it were me, the kids would be running away in terror because I am that creepy. 

Ok I exaggerated about the running away part but the bottom line is kids are afraid of me lol.  

Other people would squeal in excitement at the sight of a baby but the best I could give is an awkward smile  and pray that the baby would smile back at me so that I could feel better about myself. I won't lie, I am always jealous at those who knows how to handle kids. I wish I could be as kid-friendly but I'm such a sad case of a social retard it's not even funny. I've never even truly held babies in my arms because I'm always afraid that I'd drop them omg I mean babies are like so fragile I can't even *shivers*

Anyways, last weekend we had to shoot a video for one of our assignments and I had to be around kids. And I survived. It was understandably very awkward for me at first but as the day passed by, it got better. I enjoyed how cheeky these little kids can be and watching them was so amusing. I'm surprised that they don't find me creepy or grumpy. Maybe I 'm exerting less 'kid-hating' vibe now? Good job, Kiwa *pats self on the back*

I guess kids are not that bad after all.
Hihi.

/via tumblr

I'm home.

I am not supposed to be, what with final assessments are lining up and I have a lot of things that I need to finish. But I'm beyond stressed that I need to get away from everything and go to the place where I know I will find solace; 

my home.

This week has been the toughest to me so far. Study wise, that is. When I was in diploma I went through though times as well but now it's different. Back then I don't hate what I do. I don't hate learning graphic design. Now, I do. I don't know what changed me. Perhaps I'm tired of feeling like I'm learning nothing and just wasting my days being in Puncak Alam or perhaps I'm just finding excuses as to why I'm not performing well in my study. I bet it's the latter. 

Well, I'm home now. I'll be rushing back to Puncak Alam in a few hours from now and I think I should get some sleep. 

Or not. Since I have a lot to do.

***

Google reader is shutting down. Follow me on BlogLovin for updates of my new post(s). I apologize for the lack of any decent posts lately. School is tough, my camera broke and my life is particularly too dull lately to even be worth writing about. I miss taking pictures and I miss doing crafts and checking out DIYs or even read my posts from my favourite blogs. Time, I need you.

/via tumblr

I used to be so eager to blog about random things. But when I signed up for twitter I got lazy. I remembered when I used to have things to say or or wanted to rave about a football match or just simply wanted to share my daily musings I'd post them here. But now I only tweet those things because it's easier and faster, and I don't have to write words after words. I can sum up what I wanted to say in 140 characters and if I wanted to get lengthy I'd tweet several times. 

See?
I got lazy.

I used to love taking pictures with my camera. When I got bored I'd haul my baby up and start to snap pictures of things around me; my cats especially. Then I'd proceed to upload them to my computer and get busy editing them in Photoshop before sharing them here. But when I signed up for Instagram I got lazy. I now use my phone to capture moments in my life because it's easier and I don't have to carry big, bulky cameras around with me. And editing the pictures are so much simpler too. I don't even have to worry about getting the pictures perfect.

See?

I got lazy.

I hate that I'm getting lazier by day. Bad Kiwa.

Looks like I'm going to see you for the second time, Mr Brooks.

Can't wait.

It's almost 11 p.m. and I am lying here typing this on my own bed, in my own room. It's not Friday yet but here I am in the comfort of my own home. One out of the two classes I have every Friday got cancelled so I decided to just screw everything and drove myself home. I don't know, I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately. One minute I was the happiest, the other minute I was a huge ball of sadness. Must be the hormones acting up. 

It rained just now so I am leaving the windows open, letting the cool breeze flows into the room. It's refreshing and that somehow makes me happy. Now I'm gonna finish watching the first episode of Revenge season 2 and go to bed and pray that somehow I won't go back to sleep after Fajr cuz I want to go out on a morning run.

Maybe that's all I need.

A run.

I can't even.

Some people can be so so talented.

I'm envious.

/via tumblr

It was weeks ago, but I thought I'll blog about my birthday. Simply as a reminder to myself and as something for me to read when I'm all emo and need something to cheer myself up. Mihmih. Now, I have to apologize in advance for these LQ photos. Most of them were taken with my phone, the only picture capturing device I have in hand since my DSLR is acting up. If only I have money to get a new one lulz.

I got a birthday wish note from a stranger! My age was wrong though cause I'm only 22 lol but I thought it was sweet. Thank you, dear stranger. Later that day when I was at a friend's house I was surprised with a cake. Bless them, I was very surprised indeed. In fact at the moment I even thought about running away because I was so embarrassed. Pardon my grumpy face lol I was trying to compose myself. I didn't even take a picture with those that were there because I was an idiot. Thanks guys. I was so very touched.

On Saturday Jiah and me went to Paradigm Mall to cheer for our baby brother who entered a mixed martial art tournament. Despite me cheering loudly with my manly voice, he lost. Granted, his opponent was 10 years older and has far more experience. I'm still beyond proud of my bro though I'd rather he refrain himself from entering such a thing anymore because my poor heart can't take all the violence. But yeah, who am I kidding. Boys will be boys. 

That night we had a small makan-makan session with my family and the usual aunties. We got the cake from Delectable in Paradigm Mall because we there lol and I saw strawberries. I love strawberries! Strawberries and cakes are a matchmade in heaven omg.

And I got two new babies! Left was handmade by Yati and the right is from Jaffa. Thank you girls. Meet Hilly & Billy everyone!

Because I have nothing else to blog about.

What is certain is that I have to ikat perut just so that I could see all these wonderful people. Barca, in KL? *cries* Joe Brooks, back in Malaysia? *cries*

2013 couldn't get much sweeter.

I always get depressed on the eve of my birthday. I don't know why, I just do. Minutes before the clock strikes twelve you can find me on my bed, lying down doing nothing but stare at the walls or the ceilings. Random thoughts will cross my mind but all of that will turn into a blur. My phone will be on silent and I will be ignoring the incoming texts or calls, if I'm lucky enough to get any. I don't really expect them because most people don't remember birthdays anyways. Or even if they do, it is all thanks to Facebook anyways.

And what with me not being a big part of their lives. 

*inhales*

I don't know what I'm trying to achieve by being sullen on my birthday. This has to stop. I'm starting to feel like I'm bipolar or something. Cheer up, dear me. You're alive for twenty two years now. Happy birthday.

And make a wish.

Found some great facts about cats:

Cats can and do show affection to both their feline companions and the humans in their lives. They communicate their love with a variety of physical behaviors, some more obvious than others. The degree of affection a cat shows people will depend on how socialized the cat is, the cat’s personality and how much they trust the person. Because of this, your cat may show you all or just some of the following feline signs of love.

Soft Eyes
Also know as eye blinks, sleepy eyes or kitty kisses, soft eyes are when a cat purposely looks directly at you and slowly blinks their eyes. They may even keep them closed for a few seconds before opening them and looking at you once again.The correct response is to slowly blink your eyes back at them to tell them that you reciprocate their trust and affection.And don’t be afraid to be the one to initiate these kitty kisses. Many a cat has been calmed and reassured by a human giving them soft eyes.

Allorubbing
Feline allorubbing is for cats what a hug or a handshake is for a human. It is a positive and social behavior that happy and healthy cats display.When cats allorub, they rub their heads, bodies and tails against a person to say hello and show that they like you. Allorubbing can be mixed with the cat winding its way between and around your feet and legs.Cats will usually allorub when they are happy to see you when you enter the room they are in. Although they have also been know to allorub when they are happy you are about to feed them – it is still a sign of affection!

Head butting
Head butting is also known as bunting and is a sign of affection and trust.When a cat is happy to see you, they will frequently greet you with a head-butt to your hand (a kitty high five), leg, face or whatever other body part happens to be handy.Instinctually, head butting may also be a way for your cat to claim you for their own. When a cat head butts, they deposit facial pheromones on people or objects in their environment – an aroma that humans cannot smell but other cats can. Your cat loves you so much that they want the world to know you are theirs.

Rolling
You may see your cat throw itself down on the ground in front of you and roll over. Or they may roll when you are sitting next to them, in each instance exposing their belly.A cat’s belly is one of the most vulnerable parts of their body, so when a cat exposes their tummy to you, they are showing extreme trust.Rolling is a way for a cat to seek your attention. It is also their way of giving you a loving greeting.Many cats love having their belly rubbed by the humans in their life who they love and trust enough to roll for. As you pet their belly, they may relax so much that they fall asleep on their back with all four paws in the air. This is a sign of total trust and unconditional love.Remember that your cat feels very vulnerable when they show their belly, so if the cat indicates to you that they are done with belly rubs respect their choice and let them stand up.

Kneading
Kneading involves the rhythmic stretching and treading of a cat’s front paws. It is also called making bread or making biscuits.A cat first kneads during its kitten hood when it uses this motion while nursing to encourage milk to be released from the mother cat – an extremely blissful time for a kitten.As they age, cats continue to knead when they are content and extremely happy – a throw back to the joyful and stress free time of kitten hood.A petting session with their favorite human can certainly result in a cat making lots of biscuits. Cats have been known to knead even when they are just being held in the arms of the people they know, love and trust.For your cat, kneading in response to your touch is an obvious expression of adoration.

Licking
Cats will lick you in two fashions – a quick lick that is the equivalent of a peck on the cheek and a longer licking session in which they “groom” you.For cat, grooming another animal or person is an act of love and caring. So when your cat spends time licking you, they believe they are taking good care of you.Not everyone likes the feel of a cat’s scratchy tongue. If you are not comfortable with your cat grooming you, discourage them in a kind and gentle way since they think they are showering you with love and cannot understand why you don’t like it.

Nose tap
Though more rare, a nose tap from a cat is an extreme sign of affection. A nose tap is the most common form of communication between cats that are friends. The first time you experience a kitty nose tap you may be a bit startled as it is unexpected.Your cat may start out with a gentle tap to your nose with its paw. In this manner they are feeling their way and working up to a nose to nose tap.As with soft eyes, you can be the one to initiate a nose tap with your cat if you are so inclined and know that the cat trusts you enough to go face to faced with you.Cats are extremely expressive if you know what to look for. I feel badly for the cats who are trying their hardest to convey their love for their human only to have their efforts ignored because the person doesn’t know the feline language of love.

SOURCE HERE

(I don't know what went wrong with quote code. Tried to fix it but failed. Oh well.)
I miss my cats. Can't wait to be back at home tomorrow.

/via tumblr

Pictures of Jeremy because he's just perfect.

Wah.

They probably meant nothing to you, but the small conversations that we had made me giddy. I feel like a highschooler all over again. Silly really since I'll be 22 very soon. Making eye contact with you feels like the hardest thing ever. I swear if I'm even remotely possible to blush, I'd be the reddest huge ball of a head. But since I can't blush because my skin colour won't let me lol so I grin and smile like an idiot instead. Everytime. It's ridiculous. But the fact that you took notice of me, the insignificant me, made me the happiest. I have to admit, I'm attracted to you.

I know I have no chance whatsoever with you, so I wonder if we could be friends?